Lifelong Decision

Almost a year and a half ago, when I decided that I was going to go on an 11 month mission trip, I was declaring that I was going to “give up” the normal life for almost a year, and then return to the American Dream. I had just graduated from college so I figured I could give a year to God. But since arriving “home” I realized returning to “normal” was no longer possible. I have been blessed or burdened (whichever way you would love to view my utter insanity) to see what life was about and I can no longer pretend that I do not know. And we all know that to those who know are held to a higher standard than those who do not. So I have decided that the only way to fully live out my life and suppress this huge burden on my heart is to fully surrender my life back to the Lord, I am giving it all up again, but this time for good.


There are many days when I feel the weight of the things I have seen all over the world and I start to get overwhelmed with my next steps in life and how I can “change the world”.  I feel like I must present this huge plan to all of my family and supporters because I feel like that is what is expected from a fulltime missionary. But I know that I am only one woman and that I can only do what one woman can and I have to be okay with the fact that I will not change the world. But I found that I can change the world for one person.  I can change the world for a few orphans, a sick and dying man, a woman living on the streets, a malnourished 5 year old, and a teenage girl who acts out in her search for love. If I can just make sure that one person can see the love of Christ in me, then my “loss” will be worth every minute I give up of living for myself.


While I have no specific short term plan for my future I do have a dream of owning my own nonprofit that will eventually lead to a sustainable income through job opportunities offered, for families for generations to come. Then, I would like to eventually starting my own orphanage. But I am also open to whatever door God opens and offers me to walk through. So with this dream I have to humble myself and say that I am not fully equipped to go onto the mission field, whether it is with owning my own nonprofit or just serving. I realized this past year that I am only a baby in my faith and knowledge of things in this world. I have been offered a seat in a mission’s school called G42. I am one of 15 young adults that have been chosen through an extensive interview process to be poured into for the next 6 months while preparing me for the next step in my ministry. I have chosen to go into the school with a specific study in nonprofit organizations and minor in missions/church planting so that I could be prepared to start my own nonprofit and continue ministry. But in the end basically all I want to do what Jesus did. To go and serve where ever the Father tells me to. When he gives me an opportunity to serve and to grow closer to him I will take it.


All I am asking from this blog post is that you look into your heart and really go into prayer about how you can serve God fully. It is so simple that all of us were created to ultimately do the same thing. Although it will not look the same, but we were all created to change the world for someone, to serve someone, and to love someone the way that Christ first loved us.


If you feel as though you were called to be a supporter of a missionary in prayer or financially I would gladly appreciate either or both 


If you feel like you would like to check out the school I am attending and/or donating straight to my tuition account here is the website.If you donate through here it also has the perk of being tax deductible   http://www.g42leadershipacademy.org/

Or if you would like to donate to me personally you can donate to my paypal account here